How To Deal With Resurfacing Emotions

There are times when past feelings come back as resurfacing emotions.  A song, a movie, even a smell reminds us of things that used to be and sometimes those memories are painful. 

It is hard to let go of the pain even when we want to, mainly when that pain was responsible for all the happiness at one point. 
Will, you ever get over it and how do you cope? 

The answer is probably not. And that is okay. This lets you know that what you had is real. It will be easier to handle as time goes on. New memories will take place and replace the old ones. Or at least move them deeper into your conscious. The pain will get easier to bear, but it will not be overnight. 

Give yourself time. Be gentle and allow yourself to feel those things without wallowing in a rabbit hole of old times. Resurfacing emotions are tricky. 

Here’s what to do

1. Acknowledge how far you have come – Remember the thoughts and emotions from the first time of loss or change. Remember how powerful they felt. Now, they’re a bit easier to stand. It will feel as if you’ve made no progress and that’s okay, too. This is the time to work on that. 
   Immediately, identify something positive about the emotion.- And sometimes this will be hard because we miss the good. But just like grief, anger comes to rationalize things we can’t answer, and you don’t want to feed off that energy. Anger is draining and consuming. You will identify why you feel the way you think as time progresses.
2. Do something that helps you get moving. – Focused on something healthy and productive. The pity party is only going to work for so long before that memory is only associated with negativity and becomes a toxic trigger for you. You need to shake that. If you are going to be driven by pain, let it inspire you into the right place.
3. Talk to someone you trust or write a journal. – Talking through your emotions and feelings may allow you to realize things you didn’t before. Clarity will help you feel better. Most of the time we are looking for answers we will never get to appease us. So, instead of asking why did this happen, ask what did I learn from this? You may not be able to pinpoint it at first, but you will understand eventually

Most importantly, resurfacing feelings are nothing but a reminder that we are human. It does not mean you are weak or refuse to move on. We connect with people and places as humans should. Those feelings are valid when we’re going through the experience and long after we’re done. Resurfacing feelings remind us lessons we’ve learned and trials that have made us stronger.